The trio admit that they took so long filming the bespoke intros for Conversation Street that they forgot to research a topic to discuss. However, they do inform the audience that James May – the slowest man ever – had been convicted of speeding. At a whopping 37mph.
Sting: Clarkson wears high heel shoes.
The trio discuss James May's initial excitement that Whitby is the center of the UK's jet industry. And then his disappointment upon finding out that they mean the gemstone (loose definition since it is actually coal), and not planes. They also discuss the fall in UK citizens learning to drive.
Sting: Hammond shows off a freaky giant hand.
The trio discuss the new Ford GT, and the new gender sign traffic lights in London.
Sting: May has an owl on his arm.
The trio discuss which country in the world has the worst police cars. Also, the fate of the otter population in the Netherlands – and the fact they keep being run over.
Sting: The trio wear Mexican sombreros.
The trio discuss the staggering amount of accidents in Scandinavia and the massive motoring fines in Finland. Clarkson and May challenge each other on which Cadbury chocolate confectionery makes more of a mess in a car: a Double Decker or a Flake.
Sting: A stripper dances between Hammond and Clarkson.
The trio discuss the smog alarm imposed by the Stuttgart government and compares the city with Beijing. May talks about a conversation between a German and a Californian about driving without a licence. Clarkson discusses the motoring fines in Germany, especially if a motorist sets up his car like a police car.
Sting: The presenters are standing, with Hammond at a significantly smaller height.
Clarkson brings up the Alfa Romeo Stelvio, much to the annoyance of Hammond. Then the trio discuss why the pickup truck never caught up in the U.K. Also, they talk about the decline of American automotive design. During the conversation, Clarkson brings up an awkward moment at the airport when May mentioned that his jacket smelled of old record players.
Sting: Hammond breaks a wine bottle on Clarkson's head. Clarkson later remarking that it really hurt.
May brings up an argument about leather seats in cars. Also, the trio talk about cars designed for women. Clarkson brings up a 1960s electric car called the Scamp and assures to the audience that it is "Scottish" and not "British".
Sting: Hammond gets hit by a wrecking ball.
The trio discuss Mercedes-Benz proposing for their owners to rent out their cars. Then they bring up a website that lists the population of cars in the U.K., with the Citroën Saxo and Vauxhall Calibra 16V nearing extinction while the Morris Ital numbering at 47 in 2016 - up from 35 a year prior.
Sting: May's head inflates and explodes.
Clarkson talks about his first trip to Dubai over two decades ago. May discusses the different laws and fines in the city before the presenters come up with their own. Then Clarkson compares Britain's infrastructure investment with that of Dubai.
Sting: May is annoyed by a fly hovering around his face.
May explains his haircut as a result of his identity being stolen. With that in mind, Clarkson and Hammond rename him "Dingleberry Handpump". Clarkson explains that the delay of Series 2's release was due to the trio's health mishaps during production. Hammond talks about Nissan's new seats that record sweat while Clarkson brings up Ford's "Good Neighbour Mode" option on the new Mustang.
Sting: Clarkson throws a fireball at Hammond.
Clarkson discusses the 2017 Formula One season highlights such as Kimi Raikkonen setting a world record for the longest chug of champagne at the Mexican Grand Prix. He then brings up the issue of self-driving car owners being bullied. Hammond announces that Clarkson has been approached to be the ambassador of a French vineyard. The presenters then discuss about sponsorship and fashion.
Sting: Clarkson wears reindeer antlers.
The presenters turn on the lights of the studio's Christmas tree, with Clarkson using a large cross made of LED lights, leading to an argument over him using the wrong religious symbol. Clarkson then brings up Scalextric as the worst Christmas present before the presenters introduce random gifts such as Hammond's Rolex that survived the Rimac Concept One crash, an alarm clock that sets a toy car on fire, a t-shirt with an x-ray of Clarkson's pneumonia-ridden lungs, and a refrigerator with a steering wheel.
Sting: Hammond plays a trombone.
The presenters announce the winners of their awards known as the "Nigels". The Nissan Juke wins the Nissan Juke Award for the Worst Car of the Year. The Hard Ass to Follow Nigel, which is given to the car with the worst-looking rear end, is awarded to the Land Rover Discovery. The You Would But You Know You Shouldn't Award goes to the Chevrolet Corvette ZR1. Hammond wins the Lack of Continuity Award for switching between different cars during his McLaren 720S review. The Accidentally Filling Up the Petrol Tank of a Supercar with Water Award also goes to Hammond.
Sting: Clarkson drops an anvil on May's head, to no effect.
The presenters take a look at the upcoming production and concept cars of 2018, such as the Bentley Continental GT, the AMG Project One, the BMW 8 Series, the Lamborghini Terzo Millennio, the Renault Alaskan, and the Dodge Challenger Demon.
Sting: May shoots an arrow at Hammond.
Clarkson talks about the fire brigade's abuse of the "jaws of life", which they use to cut the roofs of cars - whether or not they were involved in a collision. The presenters then talk about the new Aston Martin Vantage. Clarkson brings up Chinese companies using western names before showing a spare parts firm called "Dickass".
Sting: Hammond vomits a fountain of water.
The presenters talk about upcoming supercars such as the Devel Sixteen, Ikeya Formula IF-02RDS, Apollo Intensa Emozione, Dallara Stradale, Aspark Owl, Vencer Sarthe, Arrinera Hussarya, Mazanti Evantra Millecavalli, Hennessy Venom, Glickenhaus SCG 004S, and Zenvo TS1 GT, and point out that there are too many new supercar companies cropping out. Then they talk about how women are easily impressed by men doing handbrake turns, and how electronic handbrakes on new cars have ruined it all for men. To remedy this issue, Ford Performance have released an aftermarket manual handbrake they call the "Drift Stick". Clarkson brings up a limited edition Bentley Bentayga designed for hunters. He then ends a segment with a discussion on two U.S. Navy fighter pilots being reprimanded for drawing a penis in the sky.
Sting: Clarkson and Hammond shoot at each other while May has a knife across his head.
Clarkson mentions that his hometown of Doncaster has come up with names for two of the town's new snowploughs. He also talks about Formula E's publicity shot of an electric race car competing with a cheetah. The presenters then converse on the Lamborghini Urus and start disagreeing on its name. Clarkson brings up Ford's plans to release a hybrid version of the F-150 pickup truck, despite the fact that F-150 fuel consumption is ranked 28th among their buying consideration.
Sting: Hammond is being strangled by a bald man.
Clarkson talks about the third generation BMW Z4, which is designed by men as opposed to the previous model. Hammond then brings up the new Toyota Supra, which is based on the new Z4. Clarkson then talks about former Volkswagen USA's Head of Regulations Oliver Schmidt, who was sentenced to seven years in prison and a fine of £400,000 for his part in Dieselgate. Hammond brings up the new Rimac Concept Two before Clarkson introduces the McLaren Senna. Clarkson and May then argue about the top speeds of birds.
Sting: Clarkson and Hammond beat up May with a sledge hammer and an axe.
The trio talk about why 25% of new cars in Britain are SUVs. May brings up the Ford Transit long wheelbase van and its new features.
Sting: The trio shake hands, with May revealing an elongated right arm.
The trio talk about the economic collapse of the city. Hammond points out that American carmakers contributed to the demise of Detroit by being too cheap on their prices.
Sting: Hammond and May play shadow puppets in front of Clarkson.
The presenters talk about new electric cars such as the Audi e-tron and that Jaguar plans to go all-electric. Clarkson then argues about how charging electric cars is a waste of time and how Uber is not as efficient as the black taxi cab. May previews the new Bugatti Chiron Sport, pointing out that its new carbon fibre windscreen wipers make it 18 kg lighter and £300,000 more than the standard model. He then talks about how a Canadian was able to lower his car insurance premium by declaring himself to be a woman. Clarkson brings up Morgan, which has been constructing their frames out of ash for decades. Because Britain's supply of ash is near depletion, Morgan plans to import their ash from abroad. In addition, Morgan is branching out to manufacture bicycles and hair care products.
Sting: Hammond stands taller than Clarkson and May.
The presenters talk about the trend of modernising old sports cars by taking the bodies and installing newer engines, brakes, and suspensions. Clarkson mentions that Kalashnikov, the company famous for the AK-47, will manufacture electric cars. He also reads a newspaper article about an accident between a motorcyclist and a tank, with the article mentioning that the tank driver was uninjured. He then brings up the W Series, an all-female racing league.
Sting: May has extremely long arms.
Clarkson talks about how the presenters took a series of Chinese driving tests prior to filming the episode. They then talk about the Hongqi L5 and its delivery process. Clarkson then brings up the statistics of Chinese car production and the country's strict lottery for a registration plate. Hammond mentions the Wuling Hongguang as the best-selling car in China. Clarkson ends the conversation with the Bestune T77, which features a holographic dashboard assistant.